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 I walked towards the shoreline holding the bouquet of roses. It was crimson, all covered in blood. My blood obviously . I held it close to my heart overthinking my way to the shore. The sky was dark. The place was empty. The sea reflected the moonlight. It was not calm nor was I. Love is what people suffer from. Love? What is love? Where is love? Who is love? Who? Him? Maybe? My train of thoughts was messing me up.  I am a mess. A mess? I had no eyes nor was I covered in flesh and skin. I had given up my flesh for him. Next is my soul waiting. Maybe if I give my bones away, it will prove my love for him? My soul? Why should I sell my soul to the devil? Yeah? Devil? But he didn't look like one? Is that a question? I stood at the coast. I wish the sky fell upon me destroying me. We were close to the stars? I wished the stars fell on me and killed me so that I would be free from this suffering. Suffering? Is love A suffering? I looked up at the sky. I held the bouquet close to my heart. Heart? My ribs actually, I gave him my heart. Yes. And look what happened. Sometimes I feel like I should have given him my brain but I am the fool in love. Fool? Fool in what? Love? What is that? Is that what my friends have for me when they told me that if he abused his parents, he will abuse me too? No. Not a chance. I know he will never do that. Right. Right? I didn't have any tears left nor anything to see. I stood at the beach with the roses waiting for him to take my soul. The moon was the only source of light. It rained. Maybe if I had my eyes and if I cried, it would have been unnoticed. All for him. Him? Who was he? The one who shouted at me and still comforted me? The one who said he loved me but told me “i shouldn't have been loyal to you”? The one who abused his parents but told me he will never do that to me? The one who told me I wasn't special? The one who gave me presents but always told me to tolerate him since he got them for me? Tolerate him? No, I tolerated myself for letting myself go through it. Did I love him more than myself? What a fool of me? I looked for him but he was nowhere to be seen. I stood there all by myself looking at the waves. He was the daystar, my sunshine in the storm but he drained me out. He was the sea, I drowned in him. He was the moon which reflected the beams of Phebos. I waited for him. Waited for what? Waited to be loved? Love? He returned as a stranger just like when we met. Maybe he was one and I thought we were similar and  meant to be forever. Forever? That word is a lie! He never came. I held the roses to my heart. Close to my heart? Can he break something that I don't have?


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